After a pandemic pause, in-person office holiday parties are back, and better than ever.
While every member of the team welcomes a return to mandatory merrymaking with people they used to sit near, a general lack of human interaction could make it challenging to choose a gift for a co-worker this year.
But no need to get your bells in a jingle.
Just pick one of these great Secret Santa gifts that say: “You’re a person who is also now required to work in the office a few days a week” and “I’ve been home alone with only my thoughts for almost 3 years.”
38 Secret Santa Gift Ideas for This Year’s Back-to-the-Office Holiday Party
1. A personal check for $3
2. A fucking candle or something
3. Tiramisu made entirely from ingredients you found in the break room
4. A handful of “not-for-individual-sale” Coffee Mate® Fat-Free Gingerbread Spice creamers
5. A coupon book for free tummy rubs
6. A smattering of emails that praise you for work they did
7. A signed copy of your Infowars erotic fan fiction
8. A Dunkin’ Donuts gift card with $1.37 left on it
9. One very judgey eyeroll
10. 8 Lords-a-Leapin
11. The real reason why Kathy left the company
12. A handful of uppers
13. The company’s 1987 Annual Report which you just found lying around somewhere
14. A one-month subscription to your Onlyfans
15. The fire extinguisher from out in the hall
16. A homemade gift card for “Revenge to Be Exacted Upon 1 Enemy (of your choosing)”
17. The Amazon packages that recently began disappearing from their front porch
18. The handwritten prayer you say every night for their immortal soul
19. An olive
20. “Ginni Thomas 2024” bumper stickers
21. Your most recent F-Marry-Kill of everyone in the department
22. A cowboy catheter
23. A Ziplock bag of their hair
24. Some Ivermectin
25. A printed, bound, and lightly edited collection of their Myspace posts from middle school
26. Your dick in a box
27. Their other social security number
28. Half a bottle of Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds perfume and a poem about how your grandma smelled
29. An African Grey Parrot that’s a little fucking snitch
30. That doll that gives you the creeps
31. A Mordor Zoom background of their very own
32. A jar of baby teeth
33. Your thoughts about what Meghan & Harry are really up to
34. Canadian Tums
35. Continued silence about what you saw
36. 11,000 photos of your cat
37. Rope and duct tape
38. A cheeseball!
floreakeats 