Editor’s Note: This is the latest in a series of interviews in which I, as James Franco, interview myself about topics of interest to me and James Franco. But mostly me. James Franco has appeared in 146 motion pictures. Most recently, he is the director and star of “The Disaster Artist.” I am a lazy person.
Q: North End or South End?
A: I guess that depends. Do you mean as a place to live or are you asking which has better restaurants? Or maybe which is overall more appealing to me?
Q: Seaport or Kendall Square?
A: Again, I don’t know what the context is.
Q: What three condiments do you always carry in your purse?
A: I don’t carry a purse.
Q: C’mon dude. I know you have a man purse.
A: Yes. My family bought it for me in Italy and it’s really nice leather. I wouldn’t carry sauces in it. Why are you asking such stupid questions?
Q: Because it’s almost 2018 and that’s the way we do it.
A: What does that have to do with anything?
Q: In 2018, you’re supposed to have funny, timely, revealing, and self-deprecating answers carefully curated and ready when I ask my insanely cute and clever questions. Now, do it.
A: I don’t know. Fish sauce. Heinz Ketchup. And something from the kimchi bar at H-Mart. Like that?
Q: Did that kill you? At least one is supposed to be a combined artisanal hot sauce and a Beyoncé reference, but whatever.
A:. James, I thought you cared about exploring big, complex questions and seeking answers that take more than three words. You’re a sensitive and thoughtful guy who’s made like 50 movies about poets. Don’t you care about depth?
Q: No. Poke bowls, Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows, and printed cookbooks — fuck, marry, kill?
A: I won’t answer that.
Q: Red Line or Green Line?
A: None of this is very interesting, nor does it have anything to do with food. Who could possibly be interested in my answers to this question? Any of these questions. And both the Red Line and Green Line suck anyhow.
Q: If you were a chili pepper, what would your Scoville Rating be?
A: I just don’t see the point of this. I thought the reason for having a conversation is to connect with another person, exchange thoughts, make new discoveries, learn something. That’s how we’re exposed to new ideas and how we gain an understanding of other perspectives on the world. Learning about what people eat and why they eat what they do are great for learning about culture and tradition, history, human conflict, science, economics, psychology. Plus these stories are endlessly personal and fascinating. Food is a universal interest that connects all people, despite our differences. Those stories need time and space to unfold.
Q: Jesus Christ, gramps. Why don’t you just type up that long-ass answer on your fax machine and snail mail it to me.
A: I don’t need this.
Q: Yes you do.
A: Yeah, you’re probably right. So anyway, I’m thinking I should Instagram more in 2018 and have been kicking around the idea of starting a podcast called “What You Ate Yesterday?” It’s a podcast where I
ask people what they ate yesterday. Just people I know. Maybe some famous people.
Q: There might be hope for you yet.
A: I’m not so sure.