Q: Well, well, I see you still have your little food blog?
A: That’s your term not mine. You know it makes me a little uncomfortable.
Q: Don’t I see actual posts about food on here? Did you finally run out of jokes about the Kardashians’ anal bleaching?
A: Yes there are quite a few pieces about food on here. I am a published food writer and am very happy about that. But I still don’t call this a food blog. I just think of it as a venue for me to post observations on food and food culture. The fact that it is a “blog” is not all that important.
Q: Did you know that Kim Kardashian recently gave birth to a baby with a funny name and Kris Jenner is getting her own talk show?
A: Yes I did.
Q: And . . . ?
A: I’m not sure this is the right venue for further comment on either of those topics.
Q: I see. You get a little “social media” attention and suddenly you’re Sylvia Plath?
A: Not at all.
Q: That “food asshole” post that people liked so much also referenced anuses. What’s wrong with you?
A:“Food asshole” is a humorous metaphor for pretentious food behavior. It really doesn’t have anything to do with actual anuses. Can we talk about something else?
Q: So did Keyboard Cat or Obama Girl send you a “welcome to the club” Tweet when your little post went viral?
A: No they did not.
Q: I didn’t think so. What will you be writing about next?
A: Probably another list of things about Guy Fieri. That Guy is the gift that keeps on giving.
Q: Yeah, Sylvia Plath has nothing to worry about.