Thinking and writing about food. Not always in that order.

It’s not your fault Hello Kitty. It’s not your fault.

In Food Asshole, Silliness, Uncategorized on February 10, 2012 at 12:06 am

There are some things that just don’t immediately seem to go together – like, I don’t know, Marshmallow Fluff and kimchi. But then, the more you think about them the more they make sense.

In time for Valentine’s Day, I’ve found a few more.

Steampunks and Quiche

Apparently real faux Victorian men do eat Quiche. Let’s say you’re a rather gaunt young gentleman wearing a cravat and some homemade goggles. You’re riding your old timey bicycle around he streets of Salem, Mass. No doubt a few thoughts are going through your mind: 1) “These beefy witches in their flow-y garb could easily beat the crap out of me” and 2) “I wish I could get a nice Quiche and a cupcake in a comfortable setting that looks like something out of an H.G. Wells novel.”

Well, Sir Steampunk, set your time machine for Spring 2012 and point the enormous back wheel of that bicycle toward 84 Derby Street. There you’ll find Salem Steampunk Sweets and Savories. But be prepared. They have all kinds of scary future shizz including something called “3 Bean Turkey Chilli.”

If perchance, you are not yet a Steampunk, here’s the Wikipedia link that explains it all.

Hello Kitty and Hooters

I always had a feeling that Hello Kitty was keeping secrets. And possibly that those secrets had to do with her creepy Uncle Randy Kitty.  Well, now we know.

Hello Kitty will be working this Valentine’s Day at a Hooters in Tokyo.

Sure she’ll try to explain it away by saying “They do have really good chicken wings and the tips are great.” But we know that cute little wink masks a whole lot of pain.

It’s not your fault Hello Kitty. It’s not your fault.

Old Red Hat Ladies and Erotic Literature

Up until now there were only 3 things you needed to know about Gael Greene: 1) She’s a nice old lady who enjoys hats and sometimes shows up as a judge on Top Chef. 2) She may have invented that wretched word “Foodie”  in the 1980. and 3) She has first hand knowledge of Elvis’ hunkahunkaburninglove (as she explained rather disgustingly several times on Top Chef.)

Turns out there’s plenty more where that came from.

Gael tweeted the other day about how you should buy her “breakthrough erotic novel” for Valentine’s Day.  For just $1.99 you and your sweetie can spend the day curled up reading an ebook version of her opus “Doctor Love.”

I’m pretty sure Uncle Randy Kitty will be doing the same.

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